packing & purchasing

i am realizing quite rapidly that this is not the kind of packing that i can procrastinate to the night before (as i am notoriously known for doing), is it?

picking and choosing what you think will last you for 2 years is a hard task
particularly because - i'm not going to lie - i live by the idea that if i am going to do something, i should look good doing it
not that i have to have expensive clothing or that i am asking to bring a closetful of clothing, but i am a firm believer in maintaining one's personal image and hygiene and so the picking of clothing is quite the meticulous task for me
(i know that this is vanity speaking and who knows if she'll still be around by the end of this stint and subsequently, i am quite grateful for the 80 pound bag limit!)

it is interesting that in order to enter a life of simplicity i have to purchase so many things...from the mundane (blank cds, food storage containers) to the more exciting (solar panel, swiss army knife, my first lonely planeter/backpacker pack!)
i have essentially been on a shopping spree on amazon.com, cramming my shopping cart full of items and while i am pleased with my skills in finding the best deals, i wince at the growing total and hesitate to "proceed to checkout"

i spend a lot of time wondering if i really need some of this stuff and i've nixed (with much reluctance and inner pouting) a multitude of items from my list i.e. water purifier (i'll just boil), headlamp (i'll pee holding the flashlight between my teeth -- i've done it before! ), crystal light (i'll deal with the taste of chemically treated water), a bunch of my books (with no electricity there's not much hope for night reading)

all of this activity makes me ponder my purchasing power and my role as a consumer and about what it means to have and what it means to not have
there's been an interesting dialogue playing out in my head
(for the record: i don't normally over-think this much, it just so happens that i have the most mindless job in the world which allows me a lot of time for wandering thoughts)

considering how many times i've packed up my life to head out for another, you would think that i'd be good at this but it almost seems to get harder every time