i realize i've really dropped the ball on updating this blog and crap, i'm going home in 10 days!
so quick update:
- i've said goodbye to my village (lots of tears)
- i've met my replacement and think she's amazing
- wolfgang lost his balls (not by accident, of course)
- i'm not traveling to asia and will be back in america by oct. 17, inshallah
- i still don't have a job (in america)
- i have to have 3 MIF kits done by friday and i'm having performance anxiety
i will update from the last time i wrote in august and then delete this post -- it's just a quick post to say that i'm still alive, still in senegal, and still in the peace corps.
hope there are pumpkins and apples in america because i'd really like to see a few of those.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
weed battle
just had a nice storm for about an hour -- the first day storm that i can recall since last rainy season. 12mm so that should be good for the trees i outplanted this morning.
talla asked me to help him out. since he is so "busy" at the WV pepiniere he hasn't been able to outplant so he asked me to do it. the live fence he planted last year has some gaps that needed to be filled. i don't like him but i agreed to do it because i like tree and outplanting, and i mean, he's a jerk but it's not totally his fault. it's been a two day task -- i started yesterday along the road which didn't have any weeds, just a lot of missing trees so lots of holes to dig. ndey fatou helped me out and got some pleasure out of getting to slice open the sacks with the rusty razor blade i had.
this morning, however, was quite a task. the remaining part of the fence to be worked with was overgrown with weeds. nobody's weeded those trees ever so the rain and neglect led to some weeds as tall as me and so thick that if they could be like that year round, there would be no need for me to fill in the gaps. but, once the rains stop and the grasses dry and die, those gaps will be there -- so in i went. it was an epic battle ripping out clumps of grass and getting torn up by all types of thorns. at the same time, i enjoyed the physical labor and even started to get nostalgic about how never again in my future would i live this life -- weeding a life fence in my little village that i am the only person in north america who of offhand. as eager as i am for my service to end, there is certainly a sadness of never being here again.
anyway, the weeding took a good 2 to 3 hours. thankfully it was cloudy (build up to our storm) and ndey fatou came and helped me out again. but i don't think she found it as fun as yesterday and quickly slipped away when i told her to take a break. eventually it was finished and i outplanted 19 trees into the fence. it should be pretty sufficient by next year, God willing.
today is my last day at the village before Ramadan commenced. my last day to eat normal meals at normal times and to chug as much water as i want, when i want. Ramadan doesn't start for another few days but tomorrow i must go to Dakar.
it's nice and good now and feels like the day is over, but it's not because it's only 3:28pm. strange. i finished my last book so i'm not really sure what to do now. a nap might be nice and hopefully the roads aren't too flooded and i can go for a run later.
talla asked me to help him out. since he is so "busy" at the WV pepiniere he hasn't been able to outplant so he asked me to do it. the live fence he planted last year has some gaps that needed to be filled. i don't like him but i agreed to do it because i like tree and outplanting, and i mean, he's a jerk but it's not totally his fault. it's been a two day task -- i started yesterday along the road which didn't have any weeds, just a lot of missing trees so lots of holes to dig. ndey fatou helped me out and got some pleasure out of getting to slice open the sacks with the rusty razor blade i had.
this morning, however, was quite a task. the remaining part of the fence to be worked with was overgrown with weeds. nobody's weeded those trees ever so the rain and neglect led to some weeds as tall as me and so thick that if they could be like that year round, there would be no need for me to fill in the gaps. but, once the rains stop and the grasses dry and die, those gaps will be there -- so in i went. it was an epic battle ripping out clumps of grass and getting torn up by all types of thorns. at the same time, i enjoyed the physical labor and even started to get nostalgic about how never again in my future would i live this life -- weeding a life fence in my little village that i am the only person in north america who of offhand. as eager as i am for my service to end, there is certainly a sadness of never being here again.
anyway, the weeding took a good 2 to 3 hours. thankfully it was cloudy (build up to our storm) and ndey fatou came and helped me out again. but i don't think she found it as fun as yesterday and quickly slipped away when i told her to take a break. eventually it was finished and i outplanted 19 trees into the fence. it should be pretty sufficient by next year, God willing.
today is my last day at the village before Ramadan commenced. my last day to eat normal meals at normal times and to chug as much water as i want, when i want. Ramadan doesn't start for another few days but tomorrow i must go to Dakar.
it's nice and good now and feels like the day is over, but it's not because it's only 3:28pm. strange. i finished my last book so i'm not really sure what to do now. a nap might be nice and hopefully the roads aren't too flooded and i can go for a run later.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
the run
every day i run a path,
the path is always the same.
today i crossed paths with a boy,
his clothes were very dirty.
he said hello, in a language we knew,
and i said hello --
but in english.
he scratched his bum.
i picked my nose.
and all the while a big white cow
cried frantically for her child.
tadpoles seethed in an evaporating puddle,
and storm clouds gathered in the west.
i guess i was wrong,
it's not always the same.
but i can never beat 25 minutes.
the path is always the same.
today i crossed paths with a boy,
his clothes were very dirty.
he said hello, in a language we knew,
and i said hello --
but in english.
he scratched his bum.
i picked my nose.
and all the while a big white cow
cried frantically for her child.
tadpoles seethed in an evaporating puddle,
and storm clouds gathered in the west.
i guess i was wrong,
it's not always the same.
but i can never beat 25 minutes.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
i cook lunch and teach a senegalese wolof
yesterday turned out better than it started. thank god. i think the huge storm the night before had really fucked with my head -- living in a collapsing hut can be psychologically draining. i'm refusing to move out of my hut (maybe stupid, but the only thing i can do to keep me from going crazy) so they've put up buttresses against the weakest wall and we'll see who lasts longer -- me or the hut. but last night's rain was very close to the earth and every thunder bolt would make my doors rattle and i cowered all night in bed thinking that the next clap of lightning and thunder would bring the walls tumbling down and the roof onto my head. it didn't so now i have greater faith in the structure.
so yesterday morning i headed to diassoume wilanene to help xadi wilane, aram cisse, and fatou diop outplant but when i got there i found out that they had gone out to the fields. i was a little annoyed because i had told them on sunday that i would bet here tuesday...but i've been here too long to really expect people to keep dates and appointments with me especially when i agree that crops and livelihood come before trees.
so when i got back to the village i was left with nothing to do. i had planned on cooking lunch for the family on wednesday (since i had plans to outplant on tuesday morning) but was bored so decided i would cook lunch that day and try to outplant wednesday morning.
the plan to cook lunch was born out of a conversation i had with fatou a few weeks earlier. i was heading out to dakar and she asked me, "aissatou, when you go to dakar, how do you eat?" i told her that i cook for myself and she was absolutely incredulous. "you can cook???" she asked. she barely believed me. i wanted to be like, "homegirl, i could cook circles around you!" she asked me how come i never cook lunch in the village and i replied because i'm not talla's wife (thank god) but that before i went to america i would cook her a meal to show her that i know how to cook.
so i killed my crazy grey chicken (i did the slaughtering -- to the amazement of the women as women don't kill animals in senegal) and made the family chicken chili over rice for lunch. it was packed with onions (1/4 kilo), green peppers (1/4 kilo), corn, kidney beans, tomato paste, garlic, and tomatoes (1/4 kilo). to my surprise, they really loved it. i was unsure that they would because there are loads of peace corps stories about volunteers who cook their families a meal who then find the meal disgusting and refuse to eat it. there was a lot of hot pepper and cumin in this but man, they wolfed it down. i'm not sure if it was because there was just so much stuff in it (for god's sake -- an entire chicken!) or if they actually liked how it tasted, but regardless they ate it and they ate it all.
i found that i really do love feeding people good, healthy, nutritious food and i think it is my ultimate gesture of care. i made sure there wasn't a bit of unhealthiness in this meal -- no msg, no maggi cubes, nothing unwholesome went into it. the women were very interested that i used ingredients they were familiar with in a totally different way and they were totally impressed that i didn't need a bit of maggi or msg.
but my god, i learned that it is hard to cook in that kitchen. the smoke from a 3 stone fire is unbearable -- even in a mud stove. if you breathe through your mouth it sears your throat. the kitchen hut gets hot and smoky -- was sweating and choking like mad. moreover, both the women were super curious so they squeezed themselves in there with me to watch and ask questions the entire time. i mean, i've always known the kitchen to be a rough hut from helping cook and stuff, but this was the first time i was standing right over it, in the blast of everything. at one point aram, watching me struggle, asked, "is there no smoke when you cook over a gas?" and i emphatically yelled "no!!!"
i was worried there wouldn't be enough food but i managed to feed 16 people for lunch and a dinner bowl for me and talla. plus, a small bowl was sent to yaay fatou for a taste.
of course i received little recognition, praise, or thanks for the food -- it's not in the culture and i think it makes a woman's job even harder. but the empty bowls and seeing the women and children chow down were enough for me to feel satisfied. however, with talla it was a different story. we ate together twice this strange and new food that i guarantee he's never eaten before and he didn't mention a thing. ate it as if it was just another mafe lunch. not even a word about what is this or that i cooked it or that i had killed one of my chickens for lunch. it made me very disgusted with him. i highly doubt that being talla's wife is a very fulfilling job.
later in the afternoon i went out to see yaay fatou in her field because i knew that she was outplanting. i love that woman and will miss her when i leave. she was outplanting in some flooded area so we shlucked around in the mud. yaay mag was there too and i felt bad because she was like, "aissatou, i know nothing about trees! nothing!" because her pepiniere had completely died not once, but twice. yaay fatou retorted, "it's because she doesn't have any luck!" i agreed but then yaay fatou quipped, "she doesn't have any luck because she's ugly! ugly people have no luck!" i thought this was hilarious and laughed for some time. i promised yaay mag i would give her some trees from my pepiniere because she really had tried and really had no luck.
then i was helping yaay fatou plant tomatoes and she was yammering away and goes, "ah! aissatou! aissatou dafa begg nibbi." this is interesting because "begg" means "to want" and she was saying "oh aissatou! aissatou wants to go home." but "begg" is an interesting verb because when somebody needs to go somewhere or has plans to go somewhere, "begg" is used in this context even if there is actually no particularly desire attached to it. i've never liked that because i'll say something like "i have to go to kaolack tomorrow" and actually don't want to because kaolack is gross but in order to say it, i need to use the verb "begg." (god i hope this makes sense.)
i was feeling playful with yaay fatou so i snarked back, "deedet, dafa war nibbi!" which means "no, she has to go home!" i had pointed out the difference between wanting to do something and having to do something and she totally got and she laughed and laughed and repeated the story a million times to anybody who would listen and telling them all that today i beat her in wolof and that "now, now aissatou understands wolof." it was a slightly triumphant moment for me because for two years it was "aissatou, you still don't understand wolof?" and moreover, it was a great laugh and we had a lot of fun.
then i went out to aram cisse and xadi wilane's fields because they had heard i had come in the morning and wanted to outplant. i helped out a little and outplanted some trees. i'm really proud of my farmers. yaay fatou and i had sat in aram cisse's field for a while and the whole time aram babbled all these ideas she had for how she would improve her field with trees and vegetables. it was cool and i should have been hanging out with these old ladies a long time ago. i outplanted trees with them until the sun started to set and they sent me home because i was tired and getting destroyed by mosquitos.
so yesterday morning i headed to diassoume wilanene to help xadi wilane, aram cisse, and fatou diop outplant but when i got there i found out that they had gone out to the fields. i was a little annoyed because i had told them on sunday that i would bet here tuesday...but i've been here too long to really expect people to keep dates and appointments with me especially when i agree that crops and livelihood come before trees.
so when i got back to the village i was left with nothing to do. i had planned on cooking lunch for the family on wednesday (since i had plans to outplant on tuesday morning) but was bored so decided i would cook lunch that day and try to outplant wednesday morning.
the plan to cook lunch was born out of a conversation i had with fatou a few weeks earlier. i was heading out to dakar and she asked me, "aissatou, when you go to dakar, how do you eat?" i told her that i cook for myself and she was absolutely incredulous. "you can cook???" she asked. she barely believed me. i wanted to be like, "homegirl, i could cook circles around you!" she asked me how come i never cook lunch in the village and i replied because i'm not talla's wife (thank god) but that before i went to america i would cook her a meal to show her that i know how to cook.
so i killed my crazy grey chicken (i did the slaughtering -- to the amazement of the women as women don't kill animals in senegal) and made the family chicken chili over rice for lunch. it was packed with onions (1/4 kilo), green peppers (1/4 kilo), corn, kidney beans, tomato paste, garlic, and tomatoes (1/4 kilo). to my surprise, they really loved it. i was unsure that they would because there are loads of peace corps stories about volunteers who cook their families a meal who then find the meal disgusting and refuse to eat it. there was a lot of hot pepper and cumin in this but man, they wolfed it down. i'm not sure if it was because there was just so much stuff in it (for god's sake -- an entire chicken!) or if they actually liked how it tasted, but regardless they ate it and they ate it all.
i found that i really do love feeding people good, healthy, nutritious food and i think it is my ultimate gesture of care. i made sure there wasn't a bit of unhealthiness in this meal -- no msg, no maggi cubes, nothing unwholesome went into it. the women were very interested that i used ingredients they were familiar with in a totally different way and they were totally impressed that i didn't need a bit of maggi or msg.
but my god, i learned that it is hard to cook in that kitchen. the smoke from a 3 stone fire is unbearable -- even in a mud stove. if you breathe through your mouth it sears your throat. the kitchen hut gets hot and smoky -- was sweating and choking like mad. moreover, both the women were super curious so they squeezed themselves in there with me to watch and ask questions the entire time. i mean, i've always known the kitchen to be a rough hut from helping cook and stuff, but this was the first time i was standing right over it, in the blast of everything. at one point aram, watching me struggle, asked, "is there no smoke when you cook over a gas?" and i emphatically yelled "no!!!"
i was worried there wouldn't be enough food but i managed to feed 16 people for lunch and a dinner bowl for me and talla. plus, a small bowl was sent to yaay fatou for a taste.
of course i received little recognition, praise, or thanks for the food -- it's not in the culture and i think it makes a woman's job even harder. but the empty bowls and seeing the women and children chow down were enough for me to feel satisfied. however, with talla it was a different story. we ate together twice this strange and new food that i guarantee he's never eaten before and he didn't mention a thing. ate it as if it was just another mafe lunch. not even a word about what is this or that i cooked it or that i had killed one of my chickens for lunch. it made me very disgusted with him. i highly doubt that being talla's wife is a very fulfilling job.
later in the afternoon i went out to see yaay fatou in her field because i knew that she was outplanting. i love that woman and will miss her when i leave. she was outplanting in some flooded area so we shlucked around in the mud. yaay mag was there too and i felt bad because she was like, "aissatou, i know nothing about trees! nothing!" because her pepiniere had completely died not once, but twice. yaay fatou retorted, "it's because she doesn't have any luck!" i agreed but then yaay fatou quipped, "she doesn't have any luck because she's ugly! ugly people have no luck!" i thought this was hilarious and laughed for some time. i promised yaay mag i would give her some trees from my pepiniere because she really had tried and really had no luck.
then i was helping yaay fatou plant tomatoes and she was yammering away and goes, "ah! aissatou! aissatou dafa begg nibbi." this is interesting because "begg" means "to want" and she was saying "oh aissatou! aissatou wants to go home." but "begg" is an interesting verb because when somebody needs to go somewhere or has plans to go somewhere, "begg" is used in this context even if there is actually no particularly desire attached to it. i've never liked that because i'll say something like "i have to go to kaolack tomorrow" and actually don't want to because kaolack is gross but in order to say it, i need to use the verb "begg." (god i hope this makes sense.)
i was feeling playful with yaay fatou so i snarked back, "deedet, dafa war nibbi!" which means "no, she has to go home!" i had pointed out the difference between wanting to do something and having to do something and she totally got and she laughed and laughed and repeated the story a million times to anybody who would listen and telling them all that today i beat her in wolof and that "now, now aissatou understands wolof." it was a slightly triumphant moment for me because for two years it was "aissatou, you still don't understand wolof?" and moreover, it was a great laugh and we had a lot of fun.
then i went out to aram cisse and xadi wilane's fields because they had heard i had come in the morning and wanted to outplant. i helped out a little and outplanted some trees. i'm really proud of my farmers. yaay fatou and i had sat in aram cisse's field for a while and the whole time aram babbled all these ideas she had for how she would improve her field with trees and vegetables. it was cool and i should have been hanging out with these old ladies a long time ago. i outplanted trees with them until the sun started to set and they sent me home because i was tired and getting destroyed by mosquitos.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
my hut is falling
perhaps it is good the rains have been so late. they have now caused my hut to collapse. i'm in too bad of a mood to write about it again so here's the email i sent to my family about it:
"...An unfortunate situation I've found myself in is that on Saturday we had a very big rain and the water flooded next to my hut. For the past two years I've had ants digging under my hut so I'm assuming my hut was sitting on top of a foundation that was more lace-like than solid. The flooded water finally made it's way into there so basically, the ground beneath my hut filled up with water and my split in half and sank. It hasn't broken apart completely but it's definitely split in half and one part of it is sinking into the ground. I can't even close the doors or the windows now. It's a pretty crappy situation because I have such little time left and I have lost the really great comfort and privacy of my hut. The women want me to sleep with them -- use whichever hut Talla's not in for the day (as he alternates which woman he sleeps with every night -- terrible polygamous society) -- but that is like, the very last thing I think I have in my sanity to do. I could not possibly sleep in the same hut as the children, sharing a bed with them or the women. Moreover, that's just totally weird to me, switching among the women as if I'm another husband in the family. They can't rebuild in the rainy season so the next volunteer is going to have to temporarily live in the storage hut for a while. They built this hut a few months ago and use it to store all the horse feed and tools. It's right by the animals and smells terrible. It has two doors but no window and no private yard. I think my only option right now is to move into there for the last few weeks of my service which is a pretty awful situation to me but I guess I have to do it. I'm very annoyed. Obviously they would move everything out when I moved in -- I'm just kind of being a baby about my own space and having my yard and my hut which was comfortable. Guess I just have to suck it up -- it's only a few more weeks and then I'm out of there."
there is literally a crack running through my hut from one side to another. i can't close or open any of my windows or doors now because everything is in the process of submitting to gravity.
"...An unfortunate situation I've found myself in is that on Saturday we had a very big rain and the water flooded next to my hut. For the past two years I've had ants digging under my hut so I'm assuming my hut was sitting on top of a foundation that was more lace-like than solid. The flooded water finally made it's way into there so basically, the ground beneath my hut filled up with water and my split in half and sank. It hasn't broken apart completely but it's definitely split in half and one part of it is sinking into the ground. I can't even close the doors or the windows now. It's a pretty crappy situation because I have such little time left and I have lost the really great comfort and privacy of my hut. The women want me to sleep with them -- use whichever hut Talla's not in for the day (as he alternates which woman he sleeps with every night -- terrible polygamous society) -- but that is like, the very last thing I think I have in my sanity to do. I could not possibly sleep in the same hut as the children, sharing a bed with them or the women. Moreover, that's just totally weird to me, switching among the women as if I'm another husband in the family. They can't rebuild in the rainy season so the next volunteer is going to have to temporarily live in the storage hut for a while. They built this hut a few months ago and use it to store all the horse feed and tools. It's right by the animals and smells terrible. It has two doors but no window and no private yard. I think my only option right now is to move into there for the last few weeks of my service which is a pretty awful situation to me but I guess I have to do it. I'm very annoyed. Obviously they would move everything out when I moved in -- I'm just kind of being a baby about my own space and having my yard and my hut which was comfortable. Guess I just have to suck it up -- it's only a few more weeks and then I'm out of there."
there is literally a crack running through my hut from one side to another. i can't close or open any of my windows or doors now because everything is in the process of submitting to gravity.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
the rains are finally here
8mm rain last night. it was nice and cold to sleep in. the miracle of good rain -- the crops look significantly bigger and better in just a few days. alxamdoulilah. people are talking about these recent rains with satisfaction and i think we feel safe from drought and bad harvest.
Friday, August 7, 2009
finally, productivity
big cold rain blew in this morning at 6am. 10mm. nice to sleep in that. maybe i can still have hopes for rain this season.
amazing -- today was finally productive. the most productive i've been in weeks. started out with that 6am rain which gave a nice, but excusable, slightly late started to the day.
i went up to mbanda peul with all these intentions to goad the women into outplanting their papayas. a nice little boy walked with me and asked me plaintively for wolfgang. i had to refuse.
when i got there i passed by the pepiniere on my way to penda's house and to my amazement -- outplanted thornies and all the papayas gone! penda is THE superstar farmer. with her own initiative she'd gotten a huge chunk of trees outplanted (some of them -- mangoes and lemons -- too soon...oops). i was so incredibly happy with her. i wanted to hug her. she hadn't finished the live fence yet so we agreed for me to help her tomorrow afternoon.
on my way back to the village i passed through the WV pepiniere where talla, diakho, and moussa were transplanting eucalyptus seedlings. i decided to help them for several hours. diakho found out about penda's outplanting and decided this afternoon she would outplant too. hooray for contagious behavior!
for some reason -- maybe i was a little dehydrated -- transplanting really wore me out. i got back to the house around 11:30 and worked on editing the Agfo manual until lunch. lunch was kind of awful but i got over it by taking an hour hap. it was really hot and humid.
i woke up at 4 and headed out to diakho's field. she wasn't there yet, even though she had interrupted my nap at some point (senegalese have absolutely no qualms about waking somebody up from sleep) to remind me to go in the afternoon. her trees were too small to outplant anyway, so while i waited for her, i transplanted some of her thornies (why doesn't anybody ever thing even though i tell them to all the time?!) for her and did some weeding.
she finally showed up -- she had been working in the rice field so excusable and forgiveable. i explained her tree situation to her but we agreed that the sisal was ready to outplant so she dug holes and i outplanted something like 20 sisals at 1 meter apart. it too was exhausting and i got a little sloppy at the end, accidentally slicing some roots. hopefully they will survive. while we were working we got sprinkled on with some .5mm of rain (i checked the guage as soon as i got back) so it felt nice to have some relief from the humidity.
after 2.5 hours of work i headed back to the village and found i was back just in time for a run. even though i was really tired i decided to go since i could still feel that terrible lunch sitting heavy in me and making me burp all afternoon. i figured the run would either make me puke or get rid of that heavy feeling.
it was a decent run -- slower than usual -- and when i got back i was just totally, utterly, pooped. i sweated for a good another 45 minutes-- even after a shower -- and felt like taking my shower sitting down.
the day ended with dame suddenly freaking out screaming, "mom!!! mom!!! there's a bug in my nose!!!!" we all slightly panicked and aram pinned him down with the help of ndey fatou and gouged around in his nostril with a stick while he whimpered. i braced myself for some big, long, white tapeworm but instead aram pulled out something green and smothered in snot. it was a leaf. dame had shoved it up there himself earlier in the day and decided that now was a good time to freak out about it. strange boy.
amazing -- today was finally productive. the most productive i've been in weeks. started out with that 6am rain which gave a nice, but excusable, slightly late started to the day.
i went up to mbanda peul with all these intentions to goad the women into outplanting their papayas. a nice little boy walked with me and asked me plaintively for wolfgang. i had to refuse.
when i got there i passed by the pepiniere on my way to penda's house and to my amazement -- outplanted thornies and all the papayas gone! penda is THE superstar farmer. with her own initiative she'd gotten a huge chunk of trees outplanted (some of them -- mangoes and lemons -- too soon...oops). i was so incredibly happy with her. i wanted to hug her. she hadn't finished the live fence yet so we agreed for me to help her tomorrow afternoon.
on my way back to the village i passed through the WV pepiniere where talla, diakho, and moussa were transplanting eucalyptus seedlings. i decided to help them for several hours. diakho found out about penda's outplanting and decided this afternoon she would outplant too. hooray for contagious behavior!
for some reason -- maybe i was a little dehydrated -- transplanting really wore me out. i got back to the house around 11:30 and worked on editing the Agfo manual until lunch. lunch was kind of awful but i got over it by taking an hour hap. it was really hot and humid.
i woke up at 4 and headed out to diakho's field. she wasn't there yet, even though she had interrupted my nap at some point (senegalese have absolutely no qualms about waking somebody up from sleep) to remind me to go in the afternoon. her trees were too small to outplant anyway, so while i waited for her, i transplanted some of her thornies (why doesn't anybody ever thing even though i tell them to all the time?!) for her and did some weeding.
she finally showed up -- she had been working in the rice field so excusable and forgiveable. i explained her tree situation to her but we agreed that the sisal was ready to outplant so she dug holes and i outplanted something like 20 sisals at 1 meter apart. it too was exhausting and i got a little sloppy at the end, accidentally slicing some roots. hopefully they will survive. while we were working we got sprinkled on with some .5mm of rain (i checked the guage as soon as i got back) so it felt nice to have some relief from the humidity.
after 2.5 hours of work i headed back to the village and found i was back just in time for a run. even though i was really tired i decided to go since i could still feel that terrible lunch sitting heavy in me and making me burp all afternoon. i figured the run would either make me puke or get rid of that heavy feeling.
it was a decent run -- slower than usual -- and when i got back i was just totally, utterly, pooped. i sweated for a good another 45 minutes-- even after a shower -- and felt like taking my shower sitting down.
the day ended with dame suddenly freaking out screaming, "mom!!! mom!!! there's a bug in my nose!!!!" we all slightly panicked and aram pinned him down with the help of ndey fatou and gouged around in his nostril with a stick while he whimpered. i braced myself for some big, long, white tapeworm but instead aram pulled out something green and smothered in snot. it was a leaf. dame had shoved it up there himself earlier in the day and decided that now was a good time to freak out about it. strange boy.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
burden on my back
i managed to make it back to site by last night. it was a long and arduous day. all the car rides were hot and stuffy and i got car sick on the way to kaolack. i was scared i was going to puke everywhere.
i had 6 kilos of sesame seed and 2 of Jatropha curcas along with a bunch of books and other things to bring back and for some reason thought that i would be fine walking the 7 kilometers back. i was wrong. it was so freakin' heavy and i hadn't eaten since the morning and it was a late start and threatening to rain. it was pretty terrible. i prayed for a charette and i got one for about 5-10 minutes before they dropped me off at the fork in the road -- i was grateful anyway. i think pinched a nerve in my shoulder carrying all the weight. but eventually -- of course -- i made it back cranky, hungry, exhausted, and bitter.
amazingly, the minute i stepped foot into the village it started to rain which turned into a little downpour that gave us 7mm of rain. otherwise it still hasn't rained in days.
i had 6 kilos of sesame seed and 2 of Jatropha curcas along with a bunch of books and other things to bring back and for some reason thought that i would be fine walking the 7 kilometers back. i was wrong. it was so freakin' heavy and i hadn't eaten since the morning and it was a late start and threatening to rain. it was pretty terrible. i prayed for a charette and i got one for about 5-10 minutes before they dropped me off at the fork in the road -- i was grateful anyway. i think pinched a nerve in my shoulder carrying all the weight. but eventually -- of course -- i made it back cranky, hungry, exhausted, and bitter.
amazingly, the minute i stepped foot into the village it started to rain which turned into a little downpour that gave us 7mm of rain. otherwise it still hasn't rained in days.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
bad water/good water
this morning, the water from the robinet has been getting clearer but today i tried to get water from my filter and nothing would come out. i opened the filter and no wonder -- the candles were completely covered in this thick, off white slime. luckily i have a filter so i didn't actually have to drink all of that crap but i can't help but think of everybody else who had to drink the same water without a filter. i can just picture it coating their insides.gave the candles a good cleaning.
but FINALLY, REAL RAIN! can i be so hopeful to think that the rains are here to stay? it's only been an hour and this is already a significant rain -- of course i would prefer it to go all night than stop after an hour.
if the rains stay consistent now, can it save the harvest? i wonder how the next year of food will be, due to this late start. fatou was annoying again today and said -- in front of a bunch of women -- that in 5 months i HAVE to send them money so that they can eat. she said it in her smug-cat kind of way and i instinctively felt like refusing because of her annoyingness, even though i've been secretly conjuring up a plan to send money to the next volunteer (my replacement) for a sack of millet each month if it was apparent that it would be a very hungry year.
i know it's not sustainable (as it is charity, really) and i have lots of conflicting feelings about it. a part of me feels relieved to be leaving and released from the obligation of feeding this family even though they're not MY wives or my children. i've really spent a ridiculous amount of money on food for them and -- as is almost always the case (and a subsequent problem) with the presence of a PCV -- they've become dependent on me to feed all 12 of them, plus grandma in the other compound. but then how can i go back to america, land of plenty and abundance and food security and ignore the needs of people i've lived with for 2 years, especially with the knowledge of the craptastic rainy season we had? isn't that just cold blooded? simultaneously, i think: but if they had listened to me about savings and spending wisely and rationing and healthy foods, maybe they wouldn't need my help. if they had listened to world vision's advice and stored food away in the silo...but that's unfair of me because behavior change takes years, maybe even generations to occur. and yet again, if i bought them food -- what about the rest of the village? what about the neighboring villages? they all contain people i care about and people who have been hit by this bad weather in the same way -- my family just got lucky that i got placed with them. and lastly, i really don't want to create the dependency that develops between villages and peace corps for PCVs to solve all their financial problems. i'm convinced that sometimes when the see me, all they see are CFA bills with CFA coins for eyes and earrings.
so really, i have no conclusion and in my own small personal struggle we see the overlying problem of "development," especially "grassroots" or "sustainable" development. people want food and money and they want the fastest way to it. they don't want trees or new corps or new vocational skills or lessons in technology, farming, or health -- they want food in their belly and money in their pocket RIGHT NOW. and it might seem a little crass or harsh to put it that way, but for God's sake -- they're poor and for generations have been. who can blame them for wanting the instant gratification of finally getting their share of the world's abundances? i can't.
Monday, July 27, 2009
rain dance!
yesterday i participated in "nyaan ndox" with the women. "nyaan ndox" means "praying for rain." a pretty crazy event.from what i gathered:
1. dress up in men's clothes and paint their faces
2. dance while making the ugliest faces ever
3. scream and sing for rain -- big rain
i want rain so badly i even danced once.
i asked why everybody made such horrible faces while they danced. the answer: "we're praying for rain!" i said, "yes, i understand that part but why the ugly faces?" they said, "we must be ugly so that Yallah* will make it rain." sometimes i wonder why i even bother to ask questions.
more pictures on picasa!*see entry 7/26 for definition of "Yallah"
Saturday, July 25, 2009
almost a drought
spent the morning weeding around my 1 year old live fence and direct seeding a second line of living fencing with Jatropha curcas. busy work, really, to keep myself from being bored to death. in the meantime, wolfgang dicked around, chasing the hand hoe, and climbing the baobab tree and falling asleep in the branches. he's a good companion. later, when he woke up, he amazed me by growling at the approaching crowd of kids from the village i can't stand. they came over and annoyed me while he ran off a bit and glared at them through the weeds.
overall though, it was a nice morning since the sky was overcast (not starting to clear up now -- in other words, no rain today) but i feel a little blue. maybe it's because it just won't rain. the crops are small and sad and the soil is far too dry to start outplanting trees. last night -- once again -- clouds and thunder and lightning and all the boastings of a big rain and all we got was .25 mm. in the meantime, something has happened to the water tower and the water is white -- the color of watered down milk. it's a terrible color but doesn't smell or taste different, nor does it have any sediment settled at the bottom of the buckets. strange. luckily i have my water filter which manages to turn the water clear for my drinking.
i remember when i was younger, droughts in new jersey were inconvenient times. it would be hot and lawns would shrivel as suburban men wrung their hands at the moratorium on lawn watering. we couldn't wash cars or run through the sprinklers. people would talk about drought but as a kid, it didn't really feel like there was shortage of water -- it still came out of the faucets and showers, we still had food to eat, and what did a brown lawn really mean to me?
i don't think we're in a drought state here yet, as there have been an occasional substantial rain, but this rainy season is for sure not...rainy. it is DRY here and the crops are suffering. women have started to pray for rain and talk about rain is tinged with worry. what's strange is that almost every day there are rain clouds around and we can see it raining in other villages in the distance. it just seems to keep avoiding us. one can't help but feel a little superstitious and wonder if we've done something wrong. whom have we offended? shall we sacrifice one of our starving, emaciated cows to Yallah*? No rain but instead we are plagued by flies, grasshoppers, and caterpillars. it feels a little like the scourge of God. these days all i can do is hide on my bed using the bed net as a shield from the (literally) hundreds of flies in my hut that crawl all over everything, including me and all my skin infections that come from the scores of mosquito bites that come at night.
now that i write it all -- no wonder i'm depressed.
*Yallah = Allah = God
overall though, it was a nice morning since the sky was overcast (not starting to clear up now -- in other words, no rain today) but i feel a little blue. maybe it's because it just won't rain. the crops are small and sad and the soil is far too dry to start outplanting trees. last night -- once again -- clouds and thunder and lightning and all the boastings of a big rain and all we got was .25 mm. in the meantime, something has happened to the water tower and the water is white -- the color of watered down milk. it's a terrible color but doesn't smell or taste different, nor does it have any sediment settled at the bottom of the buckets. strange. luckily i have my water filter which manages to turn the water clear for my drinking.
i remember when i was younger, droughts in new jersey were inconvenient times. it would be hot and lawns would shrivel as suburban men wrung their hands at the moratorium on lawn watering. we couldn't wash cars or run through the sprinklers. people would talk about drought but as a kid, it didn't really feel like there was shortage of water -- it still came out of the faucets and showers, we still had food to eat, and what did a brown lawn really mean to me?
i don't think we're in a drought state here yet, as there have been an occasional substantial rain, but this rainy season is for sure not...rainy. it is DRY here and the crops are suffering. women have started to pray for rain and talk about rain is tinged with worry. what's strange is that almost every day there are rain clouds around and we can see it raining in other villages in the distance. it just seems to keep avoiding us. one can't help but feel a little superstitious and wonder if we've done something wrong. whom have we offended? shall we sacrifice one of our starving, emaciated cows to Yallah*? No rain but instead we are plagued by flies, grasshoppers, and caterpillars. it feels a little like the scourge of God. these days all i can do is hide on my bed using the bed net as a shield from the (literally) hundreds of flies in my hut that crawl all over everything, including me and all my skin infections that come from the scores of mosquito bites that come at night.
now that i write it all -- no wonder i'm depressed.
*Yallah = Allah = God
Friday, July 24, 2009
bored
i've been awake for a little over an hour and i'm already done with everything i had planned for today. i'm terribly bored and it refuses to rain so i can't do any outplanting. i SHOULD be outplanting but the earth is still dry and thirsty so there's no chance the trees are getting out of the nursery. i can't believe the lack of rain. it is depressing and stressful. i am so bored. i want to go to the field but nobody ever asks me to go and they leave without me.
clouds that bring no rain:
clouds that bring no rain:
Thursday, July 23, 2009
last tourney ever
massaly came for tourney today. in non Peace Corps terms that means my boss (massaly) came and visited my site today to see my work. it went well. i am proud of my work and what i got accomplished and feel like i've set up as best i could a situation for the next volunteer.
some of my farmers have great looking pepinieres (notably mbacki beye, talla niang, and penda diawo) and some others totally flopped on me (one of them i'll blame the goats for -- he was doing great until he let the goats get to them). anyway, i was glad to show massaly my work and feel like i can say i truly, genuinely tried my best.
i don't have too much time left here so i'm going to spend the rest of my time getting these trees outplanted and protected. that is, if it ever rains.
some of my farmers have great looking pepinieres (notably mbacki beye, talla niang, and penda diawo) and some others totally flopped on me (one of them i'll blame the goats for -- he was doing great until he let the goats get to them). anyway, i was glad to show massaly my work and feel like i can say i truly, genuinely tried my best.
i don't have too much time left here so i'm going to spend the rest of my time getting these trees outplanted and protected. that is, if it ever rains.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
donkey
today the donkey cried.
we didn't know why.
we gave him some water
and still he cried.
the flies landed on his tears;
i never felt more sad.
tonight we lit a fire.
the donkey drew near.
he perked up his ear
and looked into the fire.
i think i saw him tremble.
we didn't know why.
we gave him some water
and still he cried.
the flies landed on his tears;
i never felt more sad.
tonight we lit a fire.
the donkey drew near.
he perked up his ear
and looked into the fire.
i think i saw him tremble.
Monday, July 20, 2009
sand dunes and camels
yesterday (sunday) chris and i went to loumpoul with JC & her guest, lizzie. i've heard about loumpoul for a while -- it's this place that is in the north/northwest of senegal -- and reportedly has crazy sand dunes and camels. finally we had the chance to go. first we had to go to kebemer and then get a clando taxi to loumpoul village where we were then picked up and brought to the camp/tents. jc & lizzie were coming down from st. louis so we had to meet them in kebemer. we were 4 hours (or more) early because the road between thies and louga (kebemer is in between) is amazing! one forgets how quickly you can get somewhere when the road is decently paved.i had been a little reluctant to go because a stay at the camp is rather expensive but i've heard it is worth it and it totally was. i don't regret going. the terrain was pretty amazing -- certainly something i haven't seen in senegal, or even in my life yet. real sand dunes -- high and deep and whispering and morphing in the wind. chris and i went kind of nuts -- something about the terrain unleashed the kids in us and we ran around and tumbled and romped and got sand all over ourselves. it took a lot out of me.
we went on camel rides which were more like an upgraded pony ride as it was led by a guide and the camels were utterly bored by us. they also smelled really bad. still, got to see some cool dunes that would have been exhausting to walk out on one's own to. afterwards chris found the camp's snowboards and we used them to sled down the tallest dune. i wiped out and face planted each time (accidentally) and the little french children who were also there cheered and laughed at me. i didn't mind. it was so much fun and i felt like a little kid in the infamous new jersey blizzard of '96 again -- except this was sand and i wasn't freezing my little butt cheeks off.
that night's food was delicious -- couscous and mutton and veggies. i ate a lot and was happy when the meal was capped with a mango. we then went to bed in a low hanging tent that you have to crawl to get into and i promptly passed out. it got hot though and i slept fitfully for the rest of the night.the morning was splendid. we woke up late but still were the first one's awake (aside from the staff, of course). it was pretty stuffy in the tent by then (how was everybody else still asleep??) so it was a glorious breath of fresh air when we crawled out. the sky threatened rain with low, heavy clouds. i feel like if i climbed the highest dune i could scrape my fingers in the clouds. so we climbed it and sat and stared and listened. loumpoul is close to the ocean so instead of silence i think we were hearing the steady whooshing of the ocean. no waves crashing on the shore but the sound of the ocean's existence far off.
the sand dunes are a remarkable color. a perfect blend of orange and ochre. i had a hard time finding the right words for it. they were also flecked with gray bits of sand -- i'm assuming from the clay that lies below. because of the wind the orange dunes are tipped in swirls of gray that perfectly matched the gray rain heavy clouds. a picture could not capture the beauty so i let it alone and instead drank as much of the scene as i could.
by 9am though, the desert was reminding us that it is a desert and we were HOT. we had breakfast, played some bocce ball (aka 10 minutes of sweating under the scorching sun), took showers (amazing, i could barely leave), and headed out. on the way back to thies it started to rain heavily. it was scary to be on the road but simultaneously exhilarating to be in such intense weather. even though the camp was set up for us in such a manner, i felt reconnected to nature in a way that i haven't been in a while.
more pictures on picasa...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
rainy season finally starting?
FINALLY a huge storm last night after days and days of waiting for rain! it was pretty awesome. funny, too, because i kept telling myself the build up was just a light storm and would amount to nothing. instead -- 28 millimeters! very exciting. let's just hope it sticks around. AND, the frogs have been awakened! it is the most beautiful sound of the rainy season.
yesterday held a mud stove training for the women. it turned and pretty well -- about 30 women showed up. only problem was that i was convinced to start early -- around 4pm -- by the early arrivers, but the bulk of the women showed up late. still, they all got really excited about it and there was lots of post-chatter about mud stoves and a bunch of them say they will build one. of course, i'll believe it when i see it but i believe it'll get done because everybody the amazing benefit of a mud stove (that being, reducing the wood consumption by 30-40%!).
yesterday held a mud stove training for the women. it turned and pretty well -- about 30 women showed up. only problem was that i was convinced to start early -- around 4pm -- by the early arrivers, but the bulk of the women showed up late. still, they all got really excited about it and there was lots of post-chatter about mud stoves and a bunch of them say they will build one. of course, i'll believe it when i see it but i believe it'll get done because everybody the amazing benefit of a mud stove (that being, reducing the wood consumption by 30-40%!).
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
some news and what comes next
news that feels like development:
talla, who was previously illiterate (*education), texted me on his cell phone (*technology) to inform me that he built the latrine (*health) i bought for my family as my going away gift. that is very good news to me.
in the meantime:
COS (close of service) conference was the 22nd to the 24th so all of my training stage was regathered in a nice air-conditioned hotel in dakar to discuss things to help us ease out of our service. it was a milestone in our service -- the acknowledgment that the end is right around the corner.
i have about four months left of service as i have my COS date (somewhat) set -- october 1. then, JC and i will fly out to beijing for an epic trip to explore mongolia, china, the philippines, and taiwan. we've been planning this trip since PST. then i meet my family in taiwan for a family reunion.
what happens next? i'm not entirely sure. i go back to america, i suppose, and search for a job and a place to live. hopefully wolfgang leviticus will be shipped out from dakar and land on the grounds of america the wonderful around january 2010 for a happy reunion. chris has extended his service until around march 2010 so i will eagerly await his return for several months. i hope to be going to grad school (hopefully journalism school) within the next 3 to 5 years but in the meantime i want to fill my days with productivity, good food and cooking, maintaining a healthily throbbing heart, and figuring out my future.
these days most of the routes i am considering point in the direction of writing, food, and agriculture. i have some big dreams and little dreams and some days when the clouds are billowing in the sky and i am running in the company of baobabs and birds i feel like i can have them all and then there are other days when i am running in the company of skeezy dakar guys who try to hit on me while i pant up a hill and i feel like those dreams are impossible and laughable.
it continues to be humid and hot. when i step outside i feel like it's new jersey on summer days of my youth.
talla, who was previously illiterate (*education), texted me on his cell phone (*technology) to inform me that he built the latrine (*health) i bought for my family as my going away gift. that is very good news to me.
in the meantime:
COS (close of service) conference was the 22nd to the 24th so all of my training stage was regathered in a nice air-conditioned hotel in dakar to discuss things to help us ease out of our service. it was a milestone in our service -- the acknowledgment that the end is right around the corner.
i have about four months left of service as i have my COS date (somewhat) set -- october 1. then, JC and i will fly out to beijing for an epic trip to explore mongolia, china, the philippines, and taiwan. we've been planning this trip since PST. then i meet my family in taiwan for a family reunion.
what happens next? i'm not entirely sure. i go back to america, i suppose, and search for a job and a place to live. hopefully wolfgang leviticus will be shipped out from dakar and land on the grounds of america the wonderful around january 2010 for a happy reunion. chris has extended his service until around march 2010 so i will eagerly await his return for several months. i hope to be going to grad school (hopefully journalism school) within the next 3 to 5 years but in the meantime i want to fill my days with productivity, good food and cooking, maintaining a healthily throbbing heart, and figuring out my future.
these days most of the routes i am considering point in the direction of writing, food, and agriculture. i have some big dreams and little dreams and some days when the clouds are billowing in the sky and i am running in the company of baobabs and birds i feel like i can have them all and then there are other days when i am running in the company of skeezy dakar guys who try to hit on me while i pant up a hill and i feel like those dreams are impossible and laughable.
it continues to be humid and hot. when i step outside i feel like it's new jersey on summer days of my youth.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
the rash spreads, fun with wolof
the rash is still here and has spread to my stomach, chin, and thighs. sigh. it hurts more than anything else right now but i am continually thankful it isn't excruciatingly hot outside which would make it ten times worse. in fact, there's a cool breeze that feels amazing on the rash if i sit in just the right way in just the right spot.
for my own amusement with the wolof language:
lebal ma! = sell it to me on credit!
labal ma! = wipe my ass!
for my own amusement with the wolof language:
lebal ma! = sell it to me on credit!
labal ma! = wipe my ass!
Friday, June 19, 2009
the danger of cashews
it's amazing how dangerous raw cashews are to me. when they're roasted and salted i can barely control myself from eating myself sick from them but raw cashews are just flat out dangerous. last year i had a pretty terrible incidence with raw cashews so this year had a personal ban on cashews. no cashews in the pepiniere. no working with them, nothing. i gave out dry, raw seeds but otherwise i refused to work with them.
but fatou and aram wanted a pepiniere and filled sacks but since then have done nothing about it (much to my irritation). i figured i would pretreat their seeds for them and then they would seed. so i filled a pot of water and threw in some raw cashew seeds to soak for 24 hours. last night i uncovered the pot just to take a look at them. i didn't touch them or anything but 5 minutes later my hand burst out into a burning, prickly rash. i tried to stay calm about it but now it's spread to the inside of my elbow, the other (left) arm, my neck, hairline, and jaw. it is very painful as it burns and itches and raises my body temperature. luckily it is pretty cool today (due to another disappointingly small and short rain) and everybody can see it so they all understand that despite a busy day i had planned, i just want to lie in bed and sleep it through.
the funny thing is that last year's occurrence was almost exactly a year ago (june 15). strange.
but fatou and aram wanted a pepiniere and filled sacks but since then have done nothing about it (much to my irritation). i figured i would pretreat their seeds for them and then they would seed. so i filled a pot of water and threw in some raw cashew seeds to soak for 24 hours. last night i uncovered the pot just to take a look at them. i didn't touch them or anything but 5 minutes later my hand burst out into a burning, prickly rash. i tried to stay calm about it but now it's spread to the inside of my elbow, the other (left) arm, my neck, hairline, and jaw. it is very painful as it burns and itches and raises my body temperature. luckily it is pretty cool today (due to another disappointingly small and short rain) and everybody can see it so they all understand that despite a busy day i had planned, i just want to lie in bed and sleep it through.
the funny thing is that last year's occurrence was almost exactly a year ago (june 15). strange.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
no rain or lunch, unhappy parrot
3:47pm and we haven't eaten lunch yet because talla and others are rebuilding the kitchen hut. he spent yesterday afternoon knocking it down and then had the bad luck of a late afternoon rain that ruined lots of the mud bricks.
regardless, the rain was disappointing. several hours of buildup, clouds rolling in with lightning and thunder but only just a few minutes of true, torrential, rainy season rain. then it stopped and the sky seemed as though it would rain again later in the night. it didn't but regardless, was incredibly hot and humid.
i am hungry.
the poor parrot is miserable and unhappy.
maybe his situation is better than that god-awful cardboard box he spent his first two months in but this cage is also pretty depressing. he's become this awful dirty green -- nothing plush or emerald like the pictures of his kind i see in the guidebooks. sometimes they even forget to bring him into the shade and he squawks until i do it.
i try to emphasize that IT'S NOT MY PARROT even though people tried to force him onto me as soon as the novelty of owning him wore off because i personally think it was a waste of 750CFA (when they wouldn't even take the baby to the hospital when he was sick for 500CFA) but i can only be so cold. the little guy is just flat out unhappy. and i hear people say that he's useless because he hasn't learned how to talk which i'm sure he doesn't understand but that just makes me feel bad for him.
so yesterday i let him out (i made sure the kids were out of the compound) and he wandered around a little. in the meantime i made him a toy with a strip of old fabric and an old washer. i also attached a piece of mirror to the cage and gave him one of the cat's fuzzy toy balls that he doesn't play with anymore (probably because wolfgang has his own pair of fuzzy balls now). i've also fed him some Leucaena leucophaela leaves (a tree with lots of protein and great fodder for animals).
i swear to god the parrot turned a little brighter green when he saw his new digs.
regardless, the rain was disappointing. several hours of buildup, clouds rolling in with lightning and thunder but only just a few minutes of true, torrential, rainy season rain. then it stopped and the sky seemed as though it would rain again later in the night. it didn't but regardless, was incredibly hot and humid.
i am hungry.
the poor parrot is miserable and unhappy.
maybe his situation is better than that god-awful cardboard box he spent his first two months in but this cage is also pretty depressing. he's become this awful dirty green -- nothing plush or emerald like the pictures of his kind i see in the guidebooks. sometimes they even forget to bring him into the shade and he squawks until i do it.
i try to emphasize that IT'S NOT MY PARROT even though people tried to force him onto me as soon as the novelty of owning him wore off because i personally think it was a waste of 750CFA (when they wouldn't even take the baby to the hospital when he was sick for 500CFA) but i can only be so cold. the little guy is just flat out unhappy. and i hear people say that he's useless because he hasn't learned how to talk which i'm sure he doesn't understand but that just makes me feel bad for him.
so yesterday i let him out (i made sure the kids were out of the compound) and he wandered around a little. in the meantime i made him a toy with a strip of old fabric and an old washer. i also attached a piece of mirror to the cage and gave him one of the cat's fuzzy toy balls that he doesn't play with anymore (probably because wolfgang has his own pair of fuzzy balls now). i've also fed him some Leucaena leucophaela leaves (a tree with lots of protein and great fodder for animals).
i swear to god the parrot turned a little brighter green when he saw his new digs.
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